in memoriam: Hj. Subekti

My dearest beloved grandmother, Hj. Subekti died yesterday.

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Alhamdulillaah, she died peacefully, at the age of seventy-something (she herself was never sure about her own age), and I believe she had lived her life fully. But I still find myself heartbroken in the news of her, quite sudden, passing away. First of all, because I am not there in Indonesia to directly bid her farewell. Second, I feel some kind of hollowness for realizing that I wouldn’t be able to meet her again when I get back. Because she was the kind of person whose presence always made a difference. Her not being there anymore would certainly make everything different.

She was the strongest woman I’ve ever known. She was very influential. She was smart and competent. She was respected. She was tough and powerful. But she also had a soft and very kind heart.

Dear Grandma, good bye..

I am thankful for everything you did for me.

And I am sorry because I know I could have been a better granddaughter, but I hadn’t.

You will stay alive in my memories.

In my prayers and the prayers of so many people you helped, whose life you had made better.

In my determination to be a sholeha granddaughter so that Allah SWT passes you endless blessings.

In my determination to live a good life because I know that was what you always wanted for me.

May Allah SWT accept all your good deeds and forgive all your mistakes.

May Allah SWT put you in a special and better place.

May Allah SWT grant you Jannah for eternity..

I love you, Grandma..

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